Hey beautiful, I am Alessa!
Hello beautiful souls!
I am Alessa, I am 24 years old and I live in Bavaria, Germany.
I am your Shadow Healing Mentor and fiery-creative writer and creator. My mission is to help YOU spark your inner fire and live the passionate and inspired life you were always meant to live.
Now, let me tell you my journey from hot mess to goddess – because girl, finding your purpose ain’t easy when you’re sitting in a pit of dispair.
All my life, my biggest dream was to find a job that fulfills me.
The only thing I knew was that I want to be an author, I want to write novels, and create a fantasy world that thousands of readers dive into and get obsessed with.
Well – sadly you don’t sit down, type out your story and BAM – millions are raining on you.
So I had to find something else to pursue, but that was the hard part. To show you how hard, here are my top 10 professions I wanted to work in (no order):
- Curator of an Art Museum
- Event Manager
- Travel Guide
- Fashion Designer
- Cupcake Shop Owner
- Professional Puppy Petter (okay, not really, but a girl can dream, right?!)
I wish I was kidding, but those were all the jobs I dreamed of from the ages of 16-19.
In the end, I studied social work because when I was in high school, I worked in our tutoring facility and loved that and well, my mom wouldn’t let me study art history, so I had to do something else.
I got my Bachelor’s Degree, and I learned a lot about psychology and helping people, and while it was all very interesting, I knew I studied my ass off for something that I realized two years in was not what I wanted to do in life.
Then I decided I am going to be a social media manager, I signed up for an online certification program, and I started working for my dad who has a robotics service company.
Four months later, I realized that’s also not what I wanted. I started a travel and lifestyle blog, then I noticed I actually wanted to do productivity, oh no wait, self-care, I really want to do self-care.
And then in February, my grandma died. Then Corona hit. Then all these uprisings started happening, Black Lives Matter and all that. And I was like …. the world is changing, my world is changing, am I really going to sit here and talk about my skincare routine?
So I had a little quarter-life crisis, I was in a very dark place and lost all my motivation, and then I turned to spirituality. And the game changed.
I got into astrology, I got into crystals, and I finally invested in a coaching program that helped me not only start my business for real but also changed my mindset while lighting my chakras the f*ck up.
And damn were my chakras unbalanced. I had always cried a lot, but I have never cried more than in the first two months of this program, not only because I finally realized what has piled on my true self over the years, but because week after week, I felt that weight lifting from me.
And then it clicked.
It took me 24,5 years on this planet and 8 years of not being able to fall asleep because I didn’t know what to do with my life, but I suddenly knew my purpose.
Sorry for the cliffhanger, but let me talk about my other traumas really quickly.
For years, I acted like this happy, cheerful person with no troubles, when in reality I cried myself to sleep each night. I was on the verge of depression, I was caught in a toxic relationship, there were two incidents where I hurt myself, I was so desperate. The only thing that kept me sane was my resilience – and shadow work.
I didn’t even know there was a term for that until a few months ago, but ever since my teenage years, I always sat down and journaled through my emotions and any bad events.
I was the Taylor Swift of journaling – when you broke my heart, you better believe I wrote very dramatic journal entries about you.
But guess what – it helped. I always forced myself to sit down, and bring my true emotions to paper, to not lie or enhance anything, just be vulnerable and honest.
In hindsight, it is a little depressing to read how many journal entries I wrote about my toxic partner – I knew he treated me horribly, I knew I deserved better and that karma would come for him one day, and yet I stayed, for three whole years. But I also noticed a change in my writing, because I suddenly starting grabbing back my power, and eventually I found the strength to leave him.
I never talked about this with anyone, all my friends were surprised when I told them I would break up, because I was unable to talk about what was going on with anyone. I collected all that strength all by myself, and afterwards I picked myself back up and worked my way back into the light. Even after I met my now-boyfriend, I still continued the shadow work on that relationship, hell I still work through that, but I healed myself.
And when I learned about the concept of shadow work, I dove right into it and worked through everything, all the way to my childhood.
Now I am in control of my emotions, I know my triggers, I don’t cry anymore when my boyfriend doesn’t have time for me when I want to hang out, I know that I don’t have to give and give and give in order for people to love me, I know that I am safe and that I am loved.
My relationship changed because instead of relying on my boyfriend as my source of happiness, I found happiness in my purpose and my passion and it balances our partnership more.
My soul-sucking 9 to 5 does not suck my soul as much as it used to, because I stay within my shield of rainbow light and don’t let the negative vibes get to me.
I am more energetic than ever before, and sometimes I stay up until late in the night because I can’t stop bringing my ideas to life.
I am deeply grounded in my rituals and my strength and at the same time I rise higher each day.
My chakras are spinning and I know that I can reach whatever I set my mind to.
It was a long way and it was painful, but I am so grateful for everything because it led me to this strong, passionate and radiant woman that I am today.
And I know that this what I am meant to teach. I am meant to teach you how to heal your shadows, how to uncover your emotions, how to access your true self – and how to spark your fire and step into your fire.
My belief is that we are all meant to create something. And I want that your scars are the reason why you reach for the stars – because you don’t let your scars define you – YOU choose who you are.
Thank you for being here.
I am helping you go from a fearful and overly emotional overthinker and not feeling like you live up to your potential to being a powerful and creativity-sparking visionary who owns her life full of passion and expression.